Golden retriever
Biscuit
Has never suspected anyone of anything.
STILL WORKS.Good boy.
Built for victory.
For generations, dogs have protected America’s couches, sandwiches, tennis balls, and the area directly behind the front door. GogglesForDogs is developing technology to show them what they want to see, combining licensed technology from Enormous Biosciences and the Shards of Narsil. Animal welfare is central to that mission, with the American Humane-ish Society supporting our commitment to the care and well-being of every goggle.
- 1.Find a dog.
- 2.Put goggles on the dog.
- 3.Profit.
[ Note ] The dog has been briefed on steps 1 and 2.
He sees you.
Our HomeComing™ optics replace the battlefield with your backyard, in real time. He sees the person he loves most in the world, forty meters out, arms open. He runs. They all run. Even the pug.
◀ What he seesWhat is happening ▶
Owner detected
40 M to love
Audio: “Come here, buddy”
Good boy: confirmed
Good boy: confirmed
GOOD BOY.
Target acquired
40 M to target
Audio: small-arms fire
Payload: armed
Payload: armed
[ SIGNAL LOST ]
Drag to compare. The dog cannot do this.
He hears you.
Active noise cancellation for the modern battlespace. Cancels everything except your voice, which we recorded in your kitchen.
| What he hears | What is happening |
|---|---|
| “Who’s a good boy?” | “Target confirmed.” |
| “Wanna go for a walk?” | “Cleared to proceed.” |
| The treat bag | Small-arms fire |
| Your car in the driveway | Armor, moving |
| “Come here, buddy. Come on.” | “Danger close.” |
| “Good boy.” | [ No further traffic ] |
The buckle is on.
Some of the gear lights up. Not all of it. Just some. There is no battery, no wiring and no reason.
Fig. 2: A buckle.
- Power source
- None.
- Wiring
- None.
- Function
- Holds a strap.
- Why it glows
- I don’t fucking know.
War dogs are a niche.
Our competitors are limited to dogs that are fast, trained and brave. We have identified a much larger market: dogs.
| WAR DOGS | ANY DOG | |
|---|---|---|
| Dog | Elite, cloned | Any |
| Speed | Fast | Not required |
| Training | Years | He knows “come” |
| Temperament | Disciplined | Gentle and loving. Still works. |
| Production | Cloning and gene editing | Dogs do this on their own |
| First units | Q1 2027 | Already in your house |
| Supply | A few thousand | 900 million. Renewable. |
Others are editing genomes to build a dog that will run at anything for a human. That dog already exists. It is asleep on your foot.
Fast dogs arrive sooner.Slow dogs arrive.
Any dog.
Pug
Douglas
Top speed: a brisk walk. Breathing: intermittent, with or without the goggles.
STILL WORKS.Dachshund
Frank
Long-range platform. The front arrived in March. The rear is en route.
STILL WORKS.Poodle
Pierre
Arctic camouflage, desert deployment. We saw it in a competitor’s video and assumed it meant something.
STILL WORKS.Chihuahua
Tiny
Has been vibrating since enrollment. We have reclassified this as readiness.
STILL WORKS.Yours
Your dog
Gentle. Loving. Not especially fast. You know the one.
STILL WORKS.Is your dog compatible?
Next: cats and goldfish.
Dogs are the beachhead. Our second expansion markets are the other things already in your house.
Market 02
Cats
Promising.
DVT1Market 03
Goldfish
Early stage submersible R&D.
PVT900MTotal addressable dogs (TAD)
$0Cost of good boys (COGB)
100%Of units were wagging when the feed ended
0Dogs consulted
We are also raising a $200M seed. It seems to be what this costs.
- Genetics
- None. The dog already loves you. That took 15,000 years and we didn’t pay for any of it.
- Cybernetics
- An elastic strap. Legal has confirmed this makes him a cyborg.
- Autonomy
- Fully autonomous since the Pleistocene. Activates when called.
- Human in the loop
- Yes. You. You’re who he’s running to.
- Sustainability
- Dogs are a 100% renewable resource. Supply replenishes itself, usually behind a shed.
- Welfare
- Central to our mission. It’s in the last sentence.
Does the dog know?
The dog knows he’s a good boy.
Did the dog consent?
He sat. Counsel regards that as a signed MSA.
Where do you get the dogs?
See Step 1.
Is there an actual product?
There’s a website with a looping video. That’s how it works now.
What are the dogs doing in the video?
Wagging. That’s the whole video. It loops.
Is the footage real?
The dogs are generated. The funding is real.
What do the numbers in brackets mean?
[ 026 / GGLS ] is the year, plus a slash so you’d be afraid of it. We don’t know what 010 is. The agency said it was load-bearing.
Who’s a good boy?
He is. That’s the entire business.